This is an irreverent comedy blog. Why am I being so straight-laced with this show? Why am I being so nice to it? Why did I not mention how literally no classmate cared about their old teacher being dead, and evidently had zero emotional attachment to him so hey good thing he was a murderer all along to reverse-justify that? Why am I not pointing out the fact that our main character is, in an attempt to further coax viewers into thinking "that's a girl!", wearing a dainty pink bib that only Miles Edgeworth would consider high fashion?
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| Also, need I remind you: the teacher. |
Also, very quick side note: I read a synopsis of "The Human Chair." I read a comic adaptation of "The Human Chair." I no longer think this is an adaptation of "The Human Chair." It's just somewhat inspired by....."The Human Chair."
Anyway, Kobe Bryant kisses Purple.
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| I just did |
It turns out that Purple's not going to prison like I assumed last week! Nor, really, is Korn Kob. They just let the former go back to school and the latter go in for yet another round of questioning. It's nothing like what the intensity of the end of the previous episode led me to expect. It's really nice and casual. It's like a campfire chat. But we'll get to that when we get to that! Back To School, Baby!
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| Only the relevant characters are de-silhouetted, and these characters only have three lines and zero defining traits between them in this scene. So...? |
The magical heroine who is their teacher runs in and finds the teacher's cell phone behind the table way in the front. The phone that even the cops didn't find, even though it was right there behind the table. Naturally, only the student council president has an inkling of suspicion about this.
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| Eugh! Yeah, that's an old people phone, all right. |
Back at the barnyard, Kobayashi is, again, being interrogated rather amicably. The police force even puts on an educational show for him!
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| I dIdN't WaNt AnY eXcEl SaGa In My DeTeCtIvE aNiMe!1!1! |
Eventually Colden puts on one of those little cute scene-of-the-crime shows like he did last episode, to show us what's what and explain who he thinks is behind all this and why and such.
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| What kind of stupid idiot teacher doesn't just call you up to the front during school? |
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| *SIIIIIIIIIGH* |
He's figured it all out. He was framed, and the framer didn't even put his fingerprints on the doorknobs or anything besides the weapons! And the teacher made chairs...out of his lovers! Which is why it took so long to find out about the crimes! Because all of the teacher's lovers made complicated alibis and somehow deflected suspicion for a while! Need I remind you that all of the dead teacher's lovers are dead, because he killed them, and turned them into chairs!!
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| There's really no other possible explanation for why the human chairs in the garage stayed secret for so long. |
Cumberland knows who did it! It's someone in the classroom! Is it the teacher who suddenly had the dead dude's phone all of a sudden! No! It's someone who you know! I use "know" very loosely. The show uses "know" very loosely too. The show just wanted a way to say, "Hey, we gave you all the pieces of the puzzle, so don't say you couldn't figure out the killer like this was a Poirot novella, alright?" It's...IT'S.....
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| Girl #2! |
But the play-at-home factor doesn't stop there, because you know what evidence Cubby used to indict her and force her confession? It was when she as a silhouette said, "A shape like that." It was when she looked at the teacher and said, "A shape like that." In Rookie Detective Abenobashi's own words, no other student looked at that teacher and said..."A shape like that."
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| I'm tellin' ya, it was all right there! Why didn't I see it sooner!? |
She breaks down! She cries! She admits it! She messed up when she took the teacher's phone and for no apparent reason or maybe a reason that I missed put it back! But you know what, she loved him, and she couldn't stand the way he looked at Coogie!
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| You saw him! He don't need you! He can be his own chair. |
Well, that about wraps that mystery up! Oh, but did Cookie Cat ever get to join that pill-popping guy's mystery squad? Oh, happy day, he did! Yeah!
But you can't please everyone!
Ha ha ha! Purple, you card! Oh yeah, and in the teacher's chair there was a skeleton, and it was so scary that the magical heroine teacher screamed and ran out the window.
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| Replace "one month" with "six month," or "one lifetime." |
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