Dragon Ball Super Episode 1: The World Peace Prize. Who's Getting the 100 Million Zeni!? - Bobble Reviews

Here I am watching DB, uh, S, and wouldn't you know it I haven't seen or read any part of Dragon Ball in its entirety. But I get the basic gist. Funny people, martial arts, and in the battles a simply unholy amount of standing around.

But hey, I read all of THIS guy's story! ...The purple guy way in the back? Any points for that?

Enter Goku. I know Goku. You know Goku. ... But You've Never Known Him Like This!!

Nor did you probably want to!

That's right! Goku's livin' the hard farm life, plucking turnips and removing stumps, plowing to support his wife and child.

All those battles are really paying off! Give him a month and he'll be able to tie all the sidekicks and villains in with some really vicious dad jokes.

His equally-superpowered son flies in from school to bring in some lunch. Goku eats really fast, and then he goes Super Saiyan, and after he goes Super Saiyan he trains so hard that Goku Jr. gets distracted while he's farming and falls off a cliff.

OOPS.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the universe, a large cat is eating food. Pffft. Unbelievable. This story got so freaking mundane!

Right.

Speaking of mundane, we take another detour into Japan's America's that place where they live's heartland to interview the Earth's mightiest hero:

My kind of town!

I'm going to ride so high on all these Mr. Satan jokes. Mr. Satan, celebrity mayor. Mr. Satan, living the high life. Mr. Satan, adored by millions. Mr. Satan, savior of the planet.

But I'm getting ahead of myself! Soon we cut to...uh...and her friend...uhh.....

It took me twenty minutes to realize that the one on the right isn't Vegeta's nerd cousin.
Even though his name is right there.

These two darlings – the other Goku Jr. and Little Miss Satan – are getting married!

So of course, the little kid of the Goku household and his little friend are off to get them wedding gifts. But what do the laddies like? First they look for rings. Then they look for beauty products.

Then they look at a guy in the park who's poking a woman's cheek and saying, "Oh wow, they're so soft!" It's not strictly relevant, but...it was interesting.

But why buy beauty products when a bottle of hot spring water is said to give you better results? The kids decide to take the cheap route. They use their magical powers to fly to a hot spring filled with disgusting old people spitting their dentures into the water, but then they realize that's too gross, so instead they get water from a small spring that's protected by and probably been bathed in by this awful cartoon snake.

No more costly beautifiers! This way you only have to pay with your blood.

Who will win this fight? Nobody knows! Stay tuned for part two of this twenty-part sub-saga wherein Giant Cartoon Snake activates its second, somewhat more muscular form. No I mean obviously they beat it up really easily and they go and give the wedding gift water to Devilman Lady.

Our reward: a lot of face-patting, for five seconds.

Hurrah! It's been a full day for both father and son. Goku and Small Goku celebrate by watching the sunset together. Uhh, I guess their mom is makin' dinner.

But it's not over 'til the red guy sings. Mr. Satan pulls up in his car with an offer Goku can't refuse: a briefcase full of millions and millions of dollars zeni? zenis? zenis. You see, Mr. Satan took credit for saving the world months ago, but he knows that Goku's the real hero. He's giving him the money he deserves! He wouldn't have wanted that ol' smelly World Peace Prize anyway!

Final verdict? Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. Just horrible. You mean to tell me that Goku foregoes hard labor for training? Where's the hardcore farm life simulator the fans were waiting for? Hardcore Dragon Ball fans are gonna raise hell for this, mark my words, until the group behind this listens to them for once. Wake up, Toriyama.