Chaos Dragon: Sekiryuu Senyaku Episode 3: Three as One - Bobble Reviews

Last week, we got a creepy new team member that we knew almost nothing about. She looks kind of suspicious. Let's get to know her. Let's take her out to the bar.

That boob window and strap, which combine to make a perfect "%," is deeply horrifying.

Mr. Sweallow is taking her out to the bar today. You know, Mr. Sweallow, the royal with the attendant lady who can only use weapons for ten seconds before they break, "but when he does, he unleashes their full potential." I'm sure glad I got to see all these tiny bar cups be contently sipped out of and break into shards, which I guess was their strongest power all along.

I don't even know how this guy can survive. Can he shake hands? Can he dress himself? Does he ever end up eating anything but chunks and powders? How is he not King Midas but with dirty disgusting rubble?

Elsewhere, you know the one with animal ears and the swimsuit, right? Well, she's an outcast, and two bigots on the street are about to walk by and make sure you *remember!*

Huh huh! Subtlety!

But that's not as important as the Gadanans. The team is about to ride on a Gadanan. That's great. Look at these things.

They're like elephants but with white beards, so probably even more shriveled and wrinkly.

This elephant will soon give us an enthralling map scene as our assembly of heroes travels to find Red Dragon and tell him, "I don't want these superpowers........that I never have to use."

doom doom doom DOOM doom doom doom DOOM

I told you these elephants were great, but nobody believed me.

And then they fight!! All it really showed is that the protagonist is totally unimportant without his Red Dragon powers and that he must acquit whenever that animal-ears girl comes in on her monster that does nothing but sleep and fight.

DEAD.

Meanwhile, Sir Sweallow reads a report on the new friend! It doesn't look good...

"Get me a mass murderer and we'll talk."

They're gonna be entering Kouran (a.k.a. eeeevil) territory soon. You know what that means: they're gonna be attacked by the potato legs lady. Wait, never mind, she already got killed. Could it be...that there's nobody left to stand against them?

Oh? What's this? A new, equally-evil ruler ready to crush them with her own two hands!?

And with her own, equally-normal human feet!?!? Sign me up.

Now that that's set up, we can get back to our main character being sad that every single friend of his will die if he doesn't become an actual good swordsman, which, really, have we seen any evidence that he is? He was sparring in the orphanage once. I guess that was skilled?

Keep on truckin', Ibuki.

Then the crazy character is walking through an ally somewhere alone. You know what that calls for? A whole lotta face-licking. Can't have crazy in anime without the sweet doggie action.

In her coffin-like object that she always carries around...is a living weapon! And it releases pheromones or something!

She beats up a bunch of assassins really easily (note: they all have pretty advanced-looking guns, but everyone else fights with swords?). The episode ends with all of the main characters teaming up to walk into a fat guy's house. Yeah, umm, that's nice, but can we see that tongue sailing about again?

Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!