An idyllic spring’s day. A maiden searching for forest herbs. She runs out into the sun, and...
Oh, no...no no, then that’s not Snow White... THAT’S NOT SNOW WHITE WITH THE BLACK HAIR, THIS IS A BIG FAT LIE
Aw gosh, and that’s not how they did the mirror on the wall thing AT ALL! This
is just NOT Snow White! It should be called...Snow Red.
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| Perfect ☆ |
So she gets called in to be some prince’s mistress.
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| Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.............yeah, this isn't Snow White anymore. |
So he wants her for her red hair, right? So then Snow Red cuts it off and flees the town. Or, like, most of it. Same thing. Separation of old life and whatnot. She then goes into the forest and meets seven dwarves—sorry, that’s weird. She just meets a prince-lookin’ dude.
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| That'd work if you didn't have white hair. |
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| And if HE didn't have BLUE HAIR |
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| AHAHAHA OK OK DUDE YOU WIN |
They hit it off and become friends...but then EEKS
They’ve gotta figure out a way to escape the biggest, richest idiot in the country.
But first, time for a snack.
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| Dammit! If only he hadn't tried to be such an apple badass. |
So she leaves in order to gain the antidote, which means Rich Asshole gets to
be a Rich Asshole at her a whole bunch.
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| Ass. |
Oh wait though it’s okay!
And this princely-lookin’ mofo? Actually another prince. AWW YEAH GIRL GONNA
MARRY
BOY GONNA BE A BIG PRINCESS
My final rating for this show: 0/5 No dwarves this can’t be rated as a Snow White because it is NOT SNOW WHITE I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT THIS
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| You're rubbing salt in my wounds now. |
NEXT TIME: EGGS!
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| Please don't be Humpty Dumpty. Let's leave all these fairy tales behind us. |
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