NOW I’m starting to see the problem with this story. It’s not that Madoka’s delusions slow down plot development. It’s not that everyone else’s characters are still slowly being examined in comparison to her.
 |
| It’s
that they won’t let the zombies go to school! They clearly just want an education!! |
See, I’ve got my OWN theories about THIS show. You’ve got your manic pixie dream girl who thinks everything else is a cliché and invents people in her head. And then you’ve got the girls who’re deluding themselves into thinking they’re in a zombie movie. Newsflash: they’re not. Watch.
 |
| See, that’s her with her boyfriend... |
 |
| BAM! He’s a zombie now. But he’s tryin’ to be romantic. He wants to give her a kiss, he doesn’t realize he’s coming on too strong |
 |
| He does a little grab to pull her close for a classic kiss-n-hug. |
 |
| Oh no! Shovel, what’s wrong! Did I scare you |
 |
| She wriggles out and lands on her bottom! Ouch! Shovel, are you okay? |
 |
| Here, I’ll help you back up. I don’t even know I look like a hideous zombie right now. |
 |
| Wait, Shovel, what’re you doing with that shovel? |
 |
| AHHH, SHOVEL-CHAN, PLEASE DON’T—AND BOOM, SHE JUST KILLED AN INNOCENT ZOMBIE! |
These girls are tyrannical and racist against all zombies! They’ve got this fancy schmancy schoolhouse all to themselves, and they’re hoarding all the learning from everyone else! Look at what they do when a girl tries to come and ask them to open the school back up:
 |
| “Um, oh Christ it’s the shovel one, uhhh...Hello? I’m, uh, Zombelda, eheheh that was my name even before I became a zombie, and—” |
 |
| “Oh, your ball! Oh no, I should go get that for her, she might feel more comfortable around me—” |
 |
| “AHHHHHH ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE!!!!!” |
 |
| “AHHH OW OW OW PLEASE SHOVEL STOP PLEASE IT HURTS OKAY I’LL LEAVE” |
 |
| DAMN. STRAIGHT-UP KILLED HER. SHE JUST WANTED TO LEARN. |
Later in the day, they decide to go out into the town when all the zombies have returned home to their zombie families—the shops are all a little dirty, but it’s excusable. Zombies have very bad eyesight, they can’t even tell when they need to clean. They pay for their snack foods at the 7-11 place, but that’s a 24 hour shop. When they go to the bookstore...
 |
| “Huh? Who’s been breakin’ into m’ shop?” |
 |
| “Nah, I don’t see anyone with my bad ol’ melted zombie eyes.” |
 |
| “AAAAAAAHHHH ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE” |
But he was just trying to feed his family, you monsters. And not with people meat, with ham and stuff. This isn’t a show about trying to hold onto your innocence when the rest of the world falls apart around you. It’s about how the media poisons and influences your mind to hate and disrespect.
Respect the dead.
 |
| I hope this thing ends with everyone learning their lesson. Vandals. |
No comments:
Post a Comment