Monster Musume Episode 5: Everyday Life with a Mermaid – Beeble Reviews

Uh oh, gang. Them Monster Girls is got thesselves in a whole heap a trouble this week. So now the girls wanna do what they can to hide Slime from the gubment, so they can keep her, like a pet, instead a givin her to a good, proper home, like a pet.

Just keep in mind. Whenever a child gets a pet, it ALWAYS becomes the mother’s responsibility. And MC has no mom.

But watch out now honey, this dog’s got some new tricks. 

And by tricks, I mean she just t-rapes Bird.

Yup. They just told us point-blank that’s what happens. Boy, I hope this is what all illegal immigrant girls are like

“Hi! My name Maria! I suck you off for 20¥!”- Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei

Meanwhile he meets another monster girl nobody told him about again.

what did you expect

Enter Mero-Mero Melody the Mero-Maido who is moving in. Obviously. She rides by wheelchair, because her legs are a tail. But enough about that. What you wanted to see was slime traveling into Horse’s butt. 

abandon slime already

Hey look, she knows how to milk, too.

While some have applauded this highly stereotypical character into the Monster Musume lineup for her hopeful lineup of brand new jokes, obviously all we’ve got here are lolibaby shits and rapeslime giggles. Hopefully now that everybody’s all slimed-out (in every possible sense) we can get to the next scene. 

FINALLY DUMP HER ASS OUT TO THE CURB

 

“I can’t believe they finally caught you—D’OH!”

To add to MC’s frustrations, to suit aquatic guests his home has been turned into an aqua-abode without his consent. He is now fully allowed to sue the government, but is alas, too meek and stereotypically-Japanese to stand up for himself. Tragic. But at least it lets this stuff happen! 

AWW SHIT DAWG, SHE’S GOT VESTIGIAL LEGS! THAT SHIT’S SO COOL! AUTOMATICALLY BETTER THAN HORSE

nevermind horse sucks less now gross

Hey. Hey. Letting yourself get slimed makes him want to marry you less. It confirms his suspicion that you really want to marry Slime instead.

 
By now as you can so easily guess, Snake’s afraid Fish is going to steal her man, so she’s got to try to fight any way she can, because she’s awful. 

Hey! Fuck you, Snake! Awful!

While MC goes to fix the MC we learn something “special”: She’s a princess. No, seriously. I typed this part before they even started the foreshadowing bit. 

Boom bitch try surprising me next time bozo

OOoooch, sorry, I’d have been surprised if this was from anyone who WASN’T you, Mr. Monster Musume.

You could’ve probably guessed from glancing at the tropes list this series is pulling from. The only thing that’s creative about this series is the monster designs.

WHOOOO! EVERYONE GETS A SWIMSUIT SCENE! MARK UP THE LIST, BROOOOO!!

Oh that’s right, the character development, I forgot to tell you about that. Um. Snake wanted to be carried by a handsome prince all her life, she fell in the pool, MC saved her from drowning like a prince. OK, so I guess she’s more developed now. Great, I’ll keep that in mind the next time she strangles MC or tries to freeze someone like a grocery store fishstick box!

NEXT TIME:

FECK YOUH

BONUS: Many (all) viewers may have noticed that at the end of each show, we are treated to a small encyclopedia (read: bestiary) on the various subspecies of monster.

LOOK AT THEM

YOU CAN’T TELL ME

THAT EACH ONE OF THESE

WOULDN’T BE WAY MORE INTERESTING AS CHARACTERS

except the centaurs, actually the one we got is the only girl in the show with an interesting psychology

also this chickenshit

way to be another anime stereotype all in one image gg buzzard brain