Gate: Jieitai Kanochi Nite, Kaku Tatakaeri Episode 5: The Battle of Italica

The Japanese Self-Defense Force is cruising down the road when suddenly they see smo–

Sorry, as I was saying, smo–

Don't ask me why they keep her around.

Rory, you dummy, you don't even smell right. What they're seeing and smelling is the smoke of a vicious battle in the town of Italica! Sadly, it's not important. Nothing to see here. It's just a slew of burly ugly man bandits, so you know it's inconsequential. What we really need to see is the warrior princess talking about how many rapists she could theoretically go through before she goes crazy (hint: she taps out below fifty).

But she's ALSO a PRINCESS. Balance out that warrior bluntness with some good ol' out-of-touch pomp!

When the SDF comes a-knockin' at her door, what should she do? Treat them as the enemy invaders they, for all intents and purposes, are? She makes a shrewd, ruthless decision:

She closes the door. Another man in green walks up to the door. She opens the door. He falls.
She closes the door. Another one. He falls. This is the face of a killing mastermind.

She ends up giving the SDF a fairly smashing reception, despite the fact that

Yyyooooou! You did that on purpose! Stop it! You ain't clever!

Though to be fair, most of her reception is just a drawn-out history lesson about how there were sisters who were going to rule Metallica, but blah blah, and now there's only one heir, but luckily for all of us, she's not crusty and wrinkly. No sir, this is guaranteed to be some sort of important character; this is a Babey™ through and through.

"...and is also available wherever Nendoroids are sold."

Speaking of people we're meant to care about, did you forget that Itami Souji, age thirty-whatever, is our idealistic hero in this adventure? Yes, unbearably ugly he may be, but even small-eyed scoundrel Mans® deserve a scene or two in the limelight.

Annnnnnd time's up. Wow, you really wasted it with that basic idealism!

Later that night, there's a huge, actually-important battle, and it destroys everyone and surpasses all their expectations, and I watched and within the first few moments realized that it would be this way. How? Could it be that I am a future-reading esper, a master strategist? Lo! Look yonder!