Our fantasy denizens and army men are comin' to Japan!!!!!!!! We also learn some shocking tidbits about our hero, total weeb-o Itami Souji.
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| I don't see how this surprises her. |
The five funny fantasy folks marvel at the festive Christmas ornaments and stuff. But everything can't be fun and games. We have important business with the courts and the Diet! Don't feel any pressure whatsoever to put down those potential weapons in our nation's court of law, especially not the ones which don't seem to hold any religious importance!
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| To say nothing of Rory's freaking guitar case meat slab. |
It's time to play hardball with Ms. Lady, the Diet representative who's not afraid to play hardball about the time Itami's group fought the Fire Dragon (always capitalize; it's quite a distinctive name).
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| Nobody will speculate about how it looks as if they led the townspeople INTO the attack, though. I realize it's more likely that the Fire Dragon chased after them after they evacuated what they THOUGHT would be its next target, but umm welllll you'd think in court they would SAY such things |
Back that bureaucratic bullcrap up outta this. It's time to get to the hippest part: Ask the Babeys!
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| "Yes, we do all have shameful names." |
Ms. Turok or whatever the elf girl's name is gets asked some bitingly personal questions inappropriate for a court of law. Except I guess in
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| I'm surprised these gals didn't all have in-universe fan clubs of desperate nerdlingers already! |
Then they get to the character who is surely the show's, quote, "best girl."
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| "UWOOOOOOOOAHH!!" *fat masochist from Prison School pounces all over her* |
She gets asked the tough and manipulative questions about what happened that fateful day when the Self-Defense Force attacked that big ol' dragon. But she tells Ms. Lady off.
Hmph! Well now! She doesn't know how you go about things in your little beyond-gate world...
The Rei one is a human mage of average age and boring lifespan, the American Girl Next Door one is an immortal elf, and the cat loli one is the demigod one who will become one with the spirits and nature at age 1000, abandoning her physical form. This revelation immediately results in a bunch of obnoxious Internet people making stupid texts about it.
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| Probably the only form of worship she deserves. |
Q&A over! The SDF wins the peoples' hearts. Now, let's never ask about the time the SDF killed a totally-different army with no beautiful BabeyGirls in it within the first half of the second episode. They weren't cute, so we weren't care.
But hey, don't think the knight and Princess Pina Co Lada haven't been up to anything useful! They've been talking about getting their POVs back, yo! That's riiight, Japan has captured a full 6,000 prisoners of war, mostly offscreen. But they're so nice, because they give Princess and Knight a full list of the POVs, in a book, so they can choose which ones they want. By the looks of the cover, it is all in the Japanese they read so well. It's a happy ending.
But if you thought it couldn't get wackier...! Itami Souji and the Galz all team up to get on the subway together. They freak out at the automatic door and shizz. And alas, a budding romance between the two people whom you are least likely to know the names of!
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| The context you've imagined is better than the show's. |
Also, a brief holiday terrorist attack...that is sure to leave the whole family in stitches.
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| Happy Chrimbo! |
Next week, we'll be seeing more of the finest hottie to ever hit the airwaves this side of Gate. But a boring stupid Earth girl who wears glasses. So dumb. This show doesn't know what I want.
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| Or what Itami wants? |
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