War. War never changes. Except for going into outer space. Now it has become Space War.
Welcome to Space War, where war sometimes is in space, but also on earth.
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| NEVERMIND WELCOME TO CIRCLE WAR WHERE ALL THE MECHS LOOK STUPID AS HELL ENJOY YOUR STAY |
Now thanks to these OBJECTS the world has divided into 4 huge supergroups at War and they gotta blow up the other OBJECTS in PROXY WARS
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| Dude, I don't know about you, but I'm getting a real Robot Jox kinda feeling outta this, and I shouldn't even know what that movie is. |
Now we head far up north from the Jox Desert where some dudes shovel snow for Alaska hey random shower scene
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| Damn, they found out they’re already boring and resorted to pointless fanservice!!!! |
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| See take that high-action unrealistic shonen fighting series |
Blonde Guy Whomever came out to the boons to learn how to design machines for the army, and to learn the sadness that is military rations. He and Some Guy go out to hunt some REAL meat to nosh.
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“Hehehe I’m so clever I like being a jerk”
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Girl shows up.
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| Featured: Girl. |
They talk about how they have an old Object that’s outdated and lame but now there are other Objects that are specialized for different kinds of combat. Okay, that was sort of a given, otherwise this show’d be drop-dead boring for, like, every episode.
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| oh no she’s gonna get eye cancer ;_; |
Because Blonde Guy Whomever’s just in War for the money, he’s an asshole. But will he learn not to be an asshole? I’m honestly more interested in what’s up with this place:
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| So did Alaska take over Russia and Japan or something? Or are they just trying to make sure that the target audience doesn’t feel too left out of the global war games where the main character is some Little Miss Blonde Cancerkid? |
Gosh, a lot of pilots would be better if they had the big twist thing that drives the series through its genre in a more interesting manner in the first half of the first episode, then another incident that drives the changes to their life home in the second half...meanwhile all we get here is people fixing a giant circle with guns on it.
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| No excuses! Still lame! |
The show’s more about the generic war stuff and the makeup of the machine, not about interesting personalities yet. Come on now, give me something else to work with.
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| Hey hey! I’d call Cancerfriend “Damascus” if anybody else could know the reference. |
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| Oh no guys turn off the creepy fanservice Ayanami Rei abuse we were going somewhere |
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| STOP. YOU ARE TERRIBLE AND NOT FUNNY ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF |
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| Shinji, get in the damn robot already and suffocate to death. |
Okay, that shameful display was 19 minutes in...does this mean that they’re saving the draw of the series for the second week, and the “big hook” is supposed to be some gal’s bosom getting squeezed, crushing her rib bones? Wow. Great. I’m so glad. Well who knows. Maybe they’re just doing the middle Anna joke episodes of Shimoneta, except all at the beginning, they’re both light novel adaptations after all. This could be the big hit of the season.
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| War is hell. |
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| BUT BOOOOBIES |
Ummmmm...see you next week for Heavy Object episode 2 where more people die except for that crappy blonde guy...
NO WAIT THESE ARE PROXY WARS WHERE THEY BLOW UP OBJECTS INSTEAD OF PEOPLE WHAT THE HELL GUYS TELL ME WHY THIS WENT WRONG
no what the hell am I doing this is just more military otaku shit why do I think this is gonna be fulfilling I’m outie
remember friends trying to say ‘war is hell and war profiteers are terrible’ doesn’t mean you can get away with crappy boobie butt jokes for the 8th grade boyz
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