Gakusen Toshi Asterisk Episode 1: The Witch of Resplendent Flames - Bobble Reviews

Oh Crap!! I can't believe Sky Wizards Academy got another season!! I'm so glad the sequel series to Absolute Duo is doing this well. Can't wait for more Mahouka!

Wow.

The big hook to draw impressionable viewers in, the battle that really gets our pulses pounding, is a grey fight between this masked man and a girl who keeps saying, "NEEEHGH!" It's the same "NEEEHGH!" every time. And you know, the other guy doesn't say anything, and he's ugly, so we know he's not nearly as important, even though "NEEEHGH!" gets killed.

And then we zoom out from their battlefield...

...in a circle...in a hexagon...

...in a hexagon...in the same circle...

...in a — do we even get out of this building?

Welcome to the wonderful world of Asterisk, which is the result of an ambiguous who-knows cataclysm. All we learn is that it's called Invertia, it "inverted" the power structure of the world, it brought European monarchies and weird future-mondo-technocracies into power, and it created a new type of teenager...

Stop.

These powers have three goals. One: go to high school. Two: go to Festas.

Did you see the latest Jump Festa? Those Naruto cosplayers got freaking slaughtered.

Three: become "classic" anime main characters.

Just as a little something extra, they will also let you do whatever this turn of events is.

*PLOOOOOSH*

Pay special attention to the background people here. They are CG. They are my favorite characters.

She, she was happy when she got the handkerchief from him. But then...then she was a total bitch! It's like she was submissive at one point, aggressive at another. I've never seen anything like it.

Not only that, but ho hooo, she's fighting him because...he saw her in her underwear she doesn't know how to contact school security!

Now that's a name.

And then it ends as these are wont to end.

I'd take those words from anyone other than Assy McGee.

This girl is the one who shows immediate, but not tearfully moe and intensely cloying, love for the main character, so you know she's not gonna "win" his paltry, boring heart.

I've always wanted to marry a stomach virgin!

She's also some kind of higher-up, and she tells this dude that this school only wants one thing out of you: victory. Learning can suck it. If you win, you'll have the world, even though she also admits that they're the worst of all the "prestige" battlegladiatorschools, and so in practice he's lucky if they give him a scholarship.

"No world peace for me!"

This absolute dummy apocalypse went into this school knowing he doesn't wanna fight, and doesn't say anything to indicate he did so against his will. He says he's...finding himself. Luckily for him, he's our main hero and this isn't real life. Also, his sister's dead, and she used a sword that he'll be using within the next five episodes, and why did we mention this again?

Oh, sorry, I meant the Ser Venestra Ogre Lux with a Core of Urm Manadite.
I think I have that Yu-Gi-Oh card.

Love Interest #2 suddenly hugs Boy with all her heart, and big bubbies xDDD

"Gakusen Toshi Asterisk was filmed before a live studio audience."

But we're not ending this episode without jumping back to our main maiden, Girl #1. We learn that she's the deadly ice queen fire princess of the school, Little Miss Satellizer Julis Julie No Julie's from Absolute Duo Julis.

I'm sure that her strong will and unwavering determination to not let some pervert guide her life
will billow from her like resplendent flames throughout the series!

And by "princess," yes I do mean literal princess, this isn't just some Freezing-ass nickname it's her actual title and they brought back entire European monarchies just to make this concept a reality. If you don't believe me, bet on it and we'll come back by series' end.

"It's not like there's any information on her famous and widely-publicized nation-ruling life
just sitting around anywhere, like in computers, or books."

The episode ends with the Witch Craft Works Main Love Interest of Resplendent Flames fighting this new character guy. I'm not even going to show you the conclusion of that, I'm just going to leave you with all the subtle clues I sprinkled throughout these pictures and the prior sentence.