Beeble Bobble Anime Bloggle: Keijo!!!!!!!! Episode 1: Setouchi Keijo Training School!!!!

yeah something's gonna go overboard

This is like if a shitty 2000's harem anime watched an episode of Kill la Kill. I mean, look at this:

...That's the shitty 00's part. But observe, also, your first clue that there is something far more astounding beneath the molesty veneer. Do you see it?

The beautiful symbol...

...of the beautiful sport...

...that they have AN ENTIRE SCHOOL FOR in the beautiful state of Caaaliiifff

fawajishima! Yeah, I'm cultured, I don't live in a cave.

Here is our hero! She's just a good ol' country girl. She wants money. And she's going to play the wildly-popular game of hitting breasts against foe's chests to do it.

People are always saying kids should skip college for useful trade schools.

Before school actually starts, the new students have a mock battle in this ultra-battle-shounen-tournament-style fighting ring. It's as serious as an illness.

Complete with a high-tech monitor that is nowhere near as important as it tries to seem!

What the f-- nine minutes left. Nine minutes. This episode's not even halfway over, is it? These anime staff people knew full well that they could have so easily ended this on a supreme high note with the Butt Cannon, which is one of the highest high notes in television since Prison School's upcoming debate as to whether or not someone that has been peed on is still a human. But the battle keeps going. Like a butt sitting on your face, it refuses to stop.

This is now A MURDER MYSTERY

WITH NOTES OF HUNTER X HUNTER AND ATTACK ON TITAN.

ON YOUR RIGHT IS THE BURIED FACE OF SOMEONE GETTING DEVASTATED.

These young girls have become legends.

Now that the mystery's been solved, one surmises, surely the episode is about to close, right? ...

DAMN

DAMN

THE FASTER I POST THIS THE FASTER I CAN DELETE THESE PICTURES FROM MY COMPUTER

DAAAAAAAAAMN!

It's a hard-won victory for Nozomi if she can only push Neferpitou overboard before time runs out! But Lady Satsuki alludes fatality.

I NEED THIS OFF MY COMPUTER
I'M SO SERIOUS

As our lead sinks into the water, she waxes philosophical about how and why she came to such a magical school, and what she's fighting for. Nah, just kidding. She just calls the school amazing since

Like any true protagonist. Believe it!

But wait. There are still minutes to go. I can now safely say that this episode is not topping that crescendo, nor is it trying to anymore. It's back to something of a shit 00's state again. Nozomi and her friend got the shit dorm or something weird like that, and the friends they find within aren't exactly shit...but they aren't exactly not a busty klutz and a person whose hair moves. (Yeah, my threshold of snooty quality is so high that any character with autonomous hair is on my hit list. You know it! "Beeble Bobble Hates Anime!")