Today’s
episode continues off of last week’s train of thought, ‘Because I’m living
Everyday Life with a Serial Killer,’ by taking Bird and Slime out into the
woods of Mount Fuji.
They’re
accompanied by Zombie, the one with all the guns, in an effort to actually draw
the MYSTERY STALKER out into the open.
Then they are attacked by an Ent.
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| I guess that cool police unit they created is literally useless unless they're fighting nerds. |
They
are under seige and tossed all about, woe be unto them!
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| Oh come on now don't call him master you're an illegal but that don't make you his family guy mexican cleaning lady |
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| That's right, girls with no self-respect get thrown in the BABY TRASH. #sadbuttrue |
The
true identity of the attacker is...
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| a pair of talking boobs what were you expecting mike wizowski????? |
Bird
and Boobs actually have a shared past.
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| Like you ACTUALLY thought Smith would check for survivors? |
And
that is the story of how Bird left her in the woods all alone to fend for
herself after being kidnapped by probably slavers and/or rapists.
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| DO THE CHILD-ABANDONMENT MAMBO!! C'MON EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!! |
Boobs
is now an angry evil dryad who wants to destroy all humans for being shitty.
Could she...possibly be...
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| MOTHERFUCKER OF COURSE NOT. SHE'S GONNA SEND YOU A LETTER?? YEAH IT'LL BE SOME CHICKENSCRATCH ON BARK IN A LEAF ENVELOPE DELIVERED BY A FUJI CORPSE ZOMBIE |
Hilariously
or not, Slime was super-charged by the...nutrients left in the woods...you know
what just call it nuclear waste, nobody leaves vitamins in the woods. She’s
gone radioactive.
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| Ha? Ha? Ha? Ha? This is the uncomfortable laughter as I wonder if it's actually funny or not. |
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| PLEASE DON'T GO BACK TO DUMB KEEP THE BOOKSMARTS THIS TIME AND BECOME SOMETHING BESIDES DORAEMON'S POCKET AND BIRD 2.0 SHATTER THAT GLASS MONSTER CEILING YO |
In
order to turn Boobs back into simply Tree they have to take out the radioactive
waste that caused her to un-lolify in the first place. Guess how. Guess. I’m
forcing you to. Guess and feel shame.
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| And he will never be able to have kids, and he will die of stomach cancer in two years. The end <3 |
By
the end of the first half, Tree’s crimes are forgiven, I am never allowed to
respect Slime, and happy times are had by all. She doesn’t get to come along
and live with the other girls? Why, you may ask? DUH ONLY ONE GIRL PER FETISH,
TWO FOR LOLITAS. THREE IS TOO MANY AND RACHNEA ALREADY TIES YOU UP AND WHIPS
YOUR BALLS
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| Why would you!? Not EVERYONE'S gonna forgive the sexual harassment!! |
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| Also you and all of your friends are shitty. |
Second
half, woop woop, time for extra Monster High fun.
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| GET MULTIPLE PEOPLE TO HELP!! EACH TIME JUST ONE OF YOU GOES OUT YOU'RE COMPLETELY WORTHLESS!! |
Now
Horse is out and about with MC, fully prepped to do a better job than the police.
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| Good. |
Also
Ridley
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| RIDLEHHH!!!!!! |
And
Dog
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| Hi-ho diggity!! |
And
Rachnea
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| Good. A little surprised she can't cover the whole butt though. |
This
segment is mostly about how Horse wants to help out and be cool for the hon-hon
but she keeps messing stuff up, which makes her self-conscious. That’s alright, but we know how that works.
What you need to know: She beats the shit out of the boar that was alluded to.
And
then they go home and she feels cool again.
Ah,
that’s right, you were here!
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| Good!! |
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| OH SHE GOT THE UPPER AND LOWER LIP OUT SHE GONNA TEAR SHIT UP |
To
conclude the Horse storyline, she makes everyone salad.
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| Ah, that's wonderful, Slime. You are their garbage can. #SlimeWoman'sRights2015 |
Meanwhile
this
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| Having second spider-thoughts here. Didn't know RIDLEH was that kind of space pirate. |
So
then, wait. She’s not D, Tree’s not D, Dog STARTS with D but didn’t say her
name was Dog so she doesn’t really count unless it really WAS obvious
foreshadowing for next week. What was this episode called again?
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| I'm checking back in on you in a week, and if Dog wasn't D then I'm calling out your bullshit, AGAIN |
All in all, good that they introduced more monster species,
but bad that none of them have any real substance behind them, unless they use
RIDLEH to run errands and shit for Rachnea or something. Police sucks more episode-by-episode
though so that negates it IF it happens :(
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| Also you did nothing STOP APPEARING YOU MAY HAVE NO SALAD |
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