Gakusen Toshi Asterisk Episode 1: The Witch of Resplendent Flames - Bobble Reviews

Oh Crap!! I can't believe Sky Wizards Academy got another season!! I'm so glad the sequel series to Absolute Duo is doing this well. Can't wait for more Mahouka!

Wow.

Owarimonogatari Episodes 1+2: Ougi Formula – Beeble Reviews

Oh honey, oh baby, oh goodness y’all I’m so happy this is back, you all know what I’m excited for. HERE IT IS
 

maths? oh okay then nevermind

uhhhhhh okay there’s a math metaphor but IT’S THE FREAKIN’ MONOGATARYYYYYYYY this is the show I DO like okay now but wait...shit, I can’t keep up with enough of it to actually explain it to people, I think my love has fucked me from the get-go.

She’s patronizing me. She knows I know nothing.

HackaDoll Episode 1: Personal Entertainment AI! HackaDoll! - Bobble Reviews

Here's something that feels like a blast from the comedy anime past. It's like a show from yesteryear, only...more embarrassing to watch!!

The moment you go from an intense cyberpunk monologue to four cute girls on remarkably bland backdrops,
you know what they want you to watch this for.

Charlotte Episode 13: Memories to Come - Bobble Reviews

Some people think this show sucks. Others think it rules. I think it's over. So what's the final verdict here in the Bobblezone?

Heavy Object Episode 1: The Little Soldiers Who Tie Down Gulliver The Snowy Deep Winter Battle of Alaska I yes I will type out the whole title this is stupid – Beeble Reviews

War. War never changes. Except for going into outer space. Now it has become Space War.

Welcome to Space War, where war sometimes is in space, but also on earth.

NEVERMIND WELCOME TO CIRCLE WAR WHERE ALL THE MECHS LOOK STUPID AS HELL ENJOY YOUR STAY

Now thanks to these OBJECTS the world has divided into 4 huge supergroups at War and they gotta blow up the other OBJECTS in PROXY WARS

Dude, I don't know about you, but I'm getting a real Robot Jox kinda feeling outta this, and I shouldn't even know what that movie is.

Now we head far up north from the Jox Desert where some dudes shovel snow for Alaska hey random shower scene

Damn, they found out they’re already boring and resorted to pointless fanservice!!!!

See take that high-action unrealistic shonen fighting series

Blonde Guy Whomever came out to the boons to learn how to design machines for the army, and to learn the sadness that is military rations. He and Some Guy go out to hunt some REAL meat to nosh.

“Hehehe I’m so clever I like being a jerk”

Girl shows up.

Featured: Girl.

They talk about how they have an old Object that’s outdated and lame but now there are other Objects that are specialized for different kinds of combat. Okay, that was sort of a given, otherwise this show’d be drop-dead boring for, like, every episode.

oh no she’s gonna get eye cancer ;_;

Because Blonde Guy Whomever’s just in War for the money, he’s an asshole. But will he learn not to be an asshole? I’m honestly more interested in what’s up with this place:

So did Alaska take over Russia and Japan or something? Or are they just trying to make sure that the target audience doesn’t feel too left out of the global war games where the main character is some Little Miss Blonde Cancerkid?

Gosh, a lot of pilots would be better if they had the big twist thing that drives the series through its genre in a more interesting manner in the first half of the first episode, then another incident that drives the changes to their life home in the second half...meanwhile all we get here is people fixing a giant circle with guns on it.

No excuses! Still lame!

The show’s more about the generic war stuff and the makeup of the machine, not about interesting personalities yet. Come on now, give me something else to work with.

Hey hey! I’d call Cancerfriend “Damascus” if anybody else could know the reference.

Oh no guys turn off the creepy fanservice Ayanami Rei abuse we were going somewhere

STOP. YOU ARE TERRIBLE AND NOT FUNNY ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF

Shinji, get in the damn robot already and suffocate to death.

Okay, that shameful display was 19 minutes in...does this mean that they’re saving the draw of the series for the second week, and the “big hook” is supposed to be some gal’s bosom getting squeezed, crushing her rib bones? Wow. Great. I’m so glad. Well who knows. Maybe they’re just doing the middle Anna joke episodes of Shimoneta, except all at the beginning, they’re both light novel adaptations after all. This could be the big hit of the season.

War is hell.

BUT BOOOOBIES

 
Ummmmm...see you next week for Heavy Object episode 2 where more people die except for that crappy blonde guy...

NO WAIT THESE ARE PROXY WARS WHERE THEY BLOW UP OBJECTS INSTEAD OF PEOPLE WHAT THE HELL GUYS TELL ME WHY THIS WENT WRONG

no what the hell am I doing this is just more military otaku shit why do I think this is gonna be fulfilling I’m outie 

remember friends trying to say ‘war is hell and war profiteers are terrible’ doesn’t mean you can get away with crappy boobie butt jokes for the 8^th grade boyz